Photo - MAARTEN HOLL/Dominion Post
"Why me. I'm an All Black, this shouldn't be happening to me," were some of John Kirwan's first thoughts before accepting he was suffering from depression.
The former All Black great, who was in Wellington last night to promote his book All Blacks Don't Cry, told a sellout audience of 585 at a Dominion Post Write Stuff event that he initially could not accept the might have a mental illness.
"I fought it. I was on the All Black wing – aside from calling me a Jafa, you would have though I was pretty cool and there was nothing wrong with me."
But, behind closed doors, the man who played 96 games for the All Blacks was struggling with depression.
"It started with anxiety attacks, which I ignored. Then I woke up one day and I was an utter mess – crying, no confidence, just a complete mess.
"The day I accepted it was the day I starting getting better."
Kirwan, who now divides his time between Italy and Japan, said he was able to survive by reaching out and seeking help from those closest to him.
"You can't give up, but you have to stop fighting it."
During last night's event, he had the audience in fits of laughter with his All Black tales.
And despite getting the crowd on their feet dancing to OMC's How Bizarre – as a reminder not to forget the child in themselves – Kirwan's messages were forthright: "It is an illness and you can get help."
No comments:
Post a Comment