...I am reduced to a thing that wants Virginia. I composed a
beautiful letter to you in the sleepless nightmare hours of the night, and it
has all gone: I just miss you, in a quite simple desperate human way. You, with
all your undumb letters, would never write so elementary a phrase as that;
perhaps you wouldn't even feel it. And yet I believe you'll be sensible of a
little gap. But you'd clothe it in so exquisite a phrase that it should lose a
little of its reality. Whereas with me it is quite stark: I miss you even more
than I could have believed; and I was prepared to miss you a good deal. So this
letter is really just a squeal of pain. It is incredible how essential to me
you have become. I suppose you are accustomed to people saying these things.
Damn you, spoilt creature; I shan't make you love me any more by giving myself
away like this – But oh my dear, I can't be clever and stand-offish with you: I
love you too much for that. Too truly. You have no idea how stand-offish I can
be with people I don't love. I have brought it to a fine art. But you have
broken down my defenses. And I don't really resent it.
From Brain Pickings Weekly.
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