THE SEX DIARIESJust do it' sex call sparks women's fury
CATHERINE WOULFE - Sunday Star Times
05:00 05/04/2009
A SEX book causing a stir overseas is about to land in New Zealand and if the reaction in Australia is anything to go by, it could see Kiwi women saying "yes" more often.
The Sex Diaries: Why Women Go Off Sex and Other Bedroom Battles, by sex researcher Bettina Arndt, (below right), has sparked dozens of blog posts and stories in Australian newspapers, magazines, and on television.
The chapter getting couples and critics hot and bothered is called "Just
Do It", about the idea that women should say yes to sex even when they don't feel like it.
The Sex Diaries: Why Women Go Off Sex and Other Bedroom Battles, by sex researcher Bettina Arndt, (below right), has sparked dozens of blog posts and stories in Australian newspapers, magazines, and on television.
The chapter getting couples and critics hot and bothered is called "Just
Do It", about the idea that women should say yes to sex even when they don't feel like it.Cue controversy: bloggers have dubbed Arndt a "rape cheerleader" and called her "yes" message "marital rape". One critic wrote: "Don't worry about why women aren't interested in sex any more, just pressure them into it by threatening the future happiness of their families, and pretty soon their libido will be bouncing right back."
Prue Hyman, a feminist economist and adjunct professor at Victoria University, hadn't read the book but was aware of the debate and was concerned at the idea of men or women having sex just to keep their partner happy.
"If a few women are thinking, `Well, maybe I'm saying no automatically when actually it would be all right' then that's fine.
"[But] if it makes people feel guilty or do things they don't want to do, then I don't like it so much."
Australian feminist Eva Cox has weighed in against Arndt, saying that by bedtime many women just want to sleep. "After an evening of organising kids, dinner, the shopping, the washing, the homework, etc, maybe [women] are too tired to want sex."
In her first New Zealand interview, Arndt told the Sunday Star-Times she had braced herself for this "huge kerfuffle", and she thinks some of her more strident critics are missing the point.
Prue Hyman, a feminist economist and adjunct professor at Victoria University, hadn't read the book but was aware of the debate and was concerned at the idea of men or women having sex just to keep their partner happy.
"If a few women are thinking, `Well, maybe I'm saying no automatically when actually it would be all right' then that's fine.
"[But] if it makes people feel guilty or do things they don't want to do, then I don't like it so much."
Australian feminist Eva Cox has weighed in against Arndt, saying that by bedtime many women just want to sleep. "After an evening of organising kids, dinner, the shopping, the washing, the homework, etc, maybe [women] are too tired to want sex."
In her first New Zealand interview, Arndt told the Sunday Star-Times she had braced herself for this "huge kerfuffle", and she thinks some of her more strident critics are missing the point.
Read the full piece at SST.
Note from Bookman Beattie: Published by Melbourne University Press
And here is a review from the Sydney Morning Herald.
1 comment:
I haven't read the book so I don't know how she worded it, but I agree with the idea that in a loving marriage, if you want to keep it amazing and close you will have sex when you don't feel like it sometimes.
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