...........by the time I reached page 14 I was totally awash with tears streaming down my face

HELEN  by David White

David Ling - $34.99

To say that this book stunned me would be something of an understatement. I opened it while still at New Zealand Post one morning last week when it turned up in my mail box. Because it was written by a former long-serving member of the book trade, (a man I knew well back in those days before he retired from bookselling to a rural life in order to grow a garden and to be nearer to his family), I opened the book immediately and started to read it at the Victoria Street Mail Center in Auckland city. That was a big mistake because by the time I reached page 14 I was totally awash with tears streaming down my face. So much so that a woman approached me and asked me if I was okay. At that point I popped the book into my bag with the other mail and headed for my home office where I sat and read the entire book in one long sitting.I couldn't put it down.

This is a father’s story about the cold hearted murder of his much loved daughter by her husband on their Matamata farm. It is a story that made the headlines back in September 2009 when Greg Meads shot his wife Helen at point blank range following years of his control and abuse which finally led to Helen saying she could take no more and was leaving him.

Here is the Foreword to the book, written by Heather Henare of the National Council of Women’s Refuges. It sums up the book and the tragedy so well :

The sorrow of losing a child is absolute. It is not the natural order of things and most parents’ nightmare. The grief is crippling. While the circumstances around such a loss are never easy, there is something particularly monstrous about losing a child to the hands of someone who was meant to love them. To someone they knew. And you knew. Even once trusted. To lose your child to domestic violence is something you would never wish on anyone.

David has written the story of his daughter Helen, an intelligent and talented mother, daughter, and friend. A woman who suffered for years at the hands of her husband and finally made the brave decision to leave. David’s ability to capture Helen’s struggle is heartfelt and rare. David and Pam have lost a daughter. Her children have lost a mother. Her friends and community have lost a friend. And society has lost a woman full of hope, aspirations and courage. We at the National Collective of Women’s Refuges mourn her death and the loss of all women and children who die as a result of domestic violence. We wish to honour David, Pam and their family for the bravery and respect shown in the telling of Helen’s story.

My heart reaches out to David and Pam in their awful loss. Congratulations to David for this book .He describes the events of that day, and what led to it, and tells of the ordeals that a family is subjected to when one of their own is murdered. It is a truly poignant and compelling story. There are many issues - custody, access and bail, and looming court appearances. And often, as in this case, there is the killer’s family to deal with. Finally, there is also the bureaucracy and the media that have to be faced and accepted as inevitable intrusions on the private lives of the victim’s families. Families who would prefer to be left alone to grieve.

The New Zealand Police come out of this story very well and I was interested to note the book’s dedication:

Dedicated to the “A Team”

The Team made up of dedicated members of the New Zealand Police Force led by Detective Sergeant Rod Carpinter; Pathologist, Dr Simon Stables; ESR Forensic Scientist, Angus Newton; Police Armourer, Robert Ngamoke; Crown Prosecutors, Ross Douch and Jacinta Foster

Together their attention to detail gained the verdict, Guilty of Murder .
About the author:

David White (photo left by Ken Downie) was born in Pahiatua in 1944 and attended schools there and Raumati, and was a founding student  of Kapiti College. On leaving school in 1962 he started his book trade working life at Whitcombe and Tombs, Lambton Quay, Wellington behind the educational book counter in the middle of the varsity student rush, (no university bookshops in those days). He was the opening Manager for their Porirua branch before being transferred to Queen Street, Auckland to work with Nel O’Keefe in the education dept.

From 1975 to 1981 he was Hodder and Stoughton’s sales rep based in Wellington before joining the London Bookshop chain to open their new Hamilton branch. Later he was transferred to their St.Lukes store in Auckland before he and Pam bought Highland Park Bookshop in 1987. They sold the shop late in 1999 after 13 happy and successful years

and took early retirement to achieve a dream of building themselves a large rural garden. They bought two and half acres at Okoroire outside Matamata and transformed it into lawns, gardens and shrubbery. One year they planted 2000 bulbs and were richly rewarded with the resulting spectacular show of blossoms. A garden that size proved more than a full time job so they sold to move closer to Helen and to give themselves time to follow other dreams.

David started driving milk tankers which was 9 months work each year enabling them to travel for much of the remaining 3 months. He began carving rocking horses as a hobby at this time and wrote his first book which was published in the UK. They arrived back from England after launching the book there with the intent of promoting it here. They never had the chance as Helen was murdered within 3 weeks of their arrival home.

Read his book for the full story and be prepared to be shocked.
Publication date today, 12 March, 2012
And story in New Zealand Herald today  - I had clay feet, says murder victim's dad.
And in the DomPost this morning.
Photo right of David White by Mark Taylor, Fairfax.

PS
Have just bought the latest issue of North & South - HELEN has a 16 page cover story! Wow.