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 Off the Shelf
By Etinosa Agbonlahor
| Tuesday, April 29, 2014
What do you do when a lifelong friend suddenly abandons you à
la Lloyd Schwartz?
Or when another becomes so obsessed with peak oil that he moves to Missouri
to avoid high-density areas (in case the world’s economy crashes and people
desperately fight each other for food), stocks up for Armageddon, and sends
you nine-page emails in response to your refusal to join him in Missouri?
How do you approach one who is prepared to tell obvious lies in order to
hide the demons that plague him?
If you’re like most people, you’ll take a seat in a dark room
and evaluate the life choices that have led to these unique friendships.
Tim Kreider, however, turns them into case studies in We Learn Nothing,
exploring their nuances, flaws, and strengths in a series of astute and
hilarious essays that tackle the slippery nature of human relationships.
Kreider explores when to fight for a friendship or redefine
its boundaries (hint: ban Peak Oil Guy from ever discussing that subject
with you again, but keep his phone number just in case). He tackles when to
let a relationship loose (if, for example, a relative is in prison for the
eleventh time, this time for attempting to burn his tenants—yes, tenants—to
the ground, under no circumstances should you loan him money for his
release date, i.e., two thousand and never), and when to accept a friend’s
choices regardless of how they affect your friendship (Kreider has a solid
policy to always say yes when someone asks him to nurse them through
sex-change surgery). Ultimately, Kreider makes a case for accepting the people
in our lives, whether we are tied to them by blood, beer, shared exploits
or shared last names, for who they are.
Full of Kreider’s famous illustrations, We Learn Nothing is a
funny, poignant, and heartwarming collection that is not scared to ask the hard
questions about our relationships and gracefully tackles the messy
solutions.
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