Rachel Johnson 'honoured' to win Bad Sex award
Shire Hell takes annual prize, while judges acclaim John Updike's lifetime achievement

Alison Flood writing in guardian.co.uk, Tuesday November 25 2008

'I"m not remotely grumpy about it' ... Bad Sex award winner Rachel Johnson. Photograph: Geraint Lewis

The air turned blue this evening as Tory mayor Boris Johnson's novelist sister Rachel Johnson beat Labour's notorious spin doctor Alastair Campbell to take this year's Bad Sex in Fiction award.
The Literary Review's annual award was presented to Johnson for her novel Shire Hell (Penguin) at a ceremony at London's In and Out club.

A lifetime achievement award was also given to John Updike after the American author realised the "unique achievement" of four consecutive nominations for the award.

Johnson was singled out for her novel's slew of animal metaphors, including comparing her male protagonist's "light fingers" to "a moth caught inside a lampshade", and his tongue to "a cat lapping up a dish of cream so as not to miss a single drop". Literary Review deputy editor Tom Fleming was also disturbed by the heroine's "grab, to put him, now angrily slapping against both our bellies, inside".
"You sort of think it might be a typo, but she is actually referring to his penis as him. It's a mixture of cliché and euphemism, but it's also very spirited – A plus for effort," he said. "All the entries were equally awful this year, but Rachel Johnson had the worst metaphors, and the worst animal metaphors."

Johnson said it was an "absolute honour" to win, taking her place alongside former winners including Norman Mailer, Sebastian Faulks and Tom Wolfe. "I'm not feeling remotely grumpy about it. I know that men with literary reputations to polish might find it insulting," she said, "but if you've had a book published in the year any attention is welcome, even if it's slightly dubious attention of this sort."
She received a plaster foot – intended to be an abstract representation of sex, according to Fleming - presented by The Wire actor Dominic West, at tonight's ceremony, attended by 400 guests.
Updike was not present to accept his lifetime achievement award. "Four times in a row is unique," said Fleming. "He's written great sex in the past but this seems to be gratuitous."Read the full hilarious account at The Guardian online. I wish I had been there!

And read The Guardian's earlier review, so cleverly headed AGA SAGA .